Relationship patterns
The 4 attachment styles
Secure, dismissive-avoidant, anxious-preoccupied, or fearful-avoidant: this overview shows how each attachment style plays out in friendship, work, and relationships — and where recognition ends and measuring begins.
In short
There are four attachment styles: secure, dismissive-avoidant, anxious-preoccupied, and fearful-avoidant. They describe a pattern in how you handle closeness and trust — not a diagnosis and not a disorder. Bartholomew and Horowitz derived the four styles from two images: how you see yourself and how you see others. This overview helps you recognize yourself in friendship, work, and relationships; for a measured result on the two dimensions, take the attachment style test.
Where the four attachment styles come from
Attachment theory begins with British psychiatrist John Bowlby, who in the 1950s and 1960s described how the early bond between a child and its caregivers forms a blueprint for how that child approaches relationships later in life. If you can count on someone showing up when you need help, you dare to explore the world; if that help stays unpredictable or absent, you learn to protect yourself in a different way.
Mary Ainsworth tested that theory experimentally with her Strange Situation research and was the first to distinguish one secure and two insecure patterns in young children. Two decades later, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver showed that the same patterns also shape romantic relationships between adults — attachment does not stop in childhood.
Kim Bartholomew and Leonard Horowitz brought structure to those adult attachment patterns in 1991 with a four-category model, explained below. Later research measures its two axes as attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance — the two dimensions the ECR-R by Fraley, Waller, and Brennan (2000) measures, the questionnaire Innerscape uses.
Bartholomew and Horowitz (1991): the four-category model
The four styles on this page go back to one paper: Kim Bartholomew and Leonard Horowitz, “Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model” (1991). They defined four prototypical attachment patterns by combining two images: your image of yourself (positive or negative) and your image of others (positive or negative).
Self positive · others positive
Secure
Bartholomew & Horowitz: secure
You feel worth caring about, and expect others to be generally accepting and responsive.
Self negative · others positive
Anxious-preoccupied
Bartholomew & Horowitz: preoccupied
Self-doubt combined with a high regard for others: their acceptance becomes the measure of your own worth.
Self positive · others negative
Dismissive-avoidant
Bartholomew & Horowitz: dismissing
A sense of your own worth with distrust of others: you protect yourself by staying independent and keeping relationships at a distance.
Self negative · others negative
Fearful-avoidant
Bartholomew & Horowitz: fearful
Self-doubt and distrust of others at once: you avoid closeness to protect yourself against rejection.
To test the model, they developed an interview that rated young adults on all four patterns. They compared those ratings with self-reports and with reports from friends, and each style went with its own profile of interpersonal problems. A second study rated attachment to family and to peers separately and replicated the results. The same paper introduced the Relationship Questionnaire (RQ): four short descriptions, one per style, from which you pick the one that fits you best.
Later research confirmed the two images as the dimensions underlying adult attachment measures (Griffin & Bartholomew, 1994), and today measures them mostly as attachment anxiety (the image of yourself) and attachment avoidance (the image of others). Those are the two dimensions of the ECR-R, the questionnaire behind the attachment style test.
Bartholomew, K., & Horowitz, L. M. (1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226–244. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.61.2.226
The four attachment styles, one by one
Secure
You are comfortable with both closeness and independence. You trust others until proven otherwise, and you can ask for help without it feeling like weakness.
- →Friendship — You share what is on your mind, even when a friend does not respond right away.
- →Work — You ask for feedback and take criticism without treating it as an attack.
- →Relationship — A disagreement does not make you fear the relationship is over.
It does not say you are never insecure — only that insecurity does not knock you off balance for long.
Dismissive-avoidant
You prefer to handle your own affairs and feel uneasy the moment someone starts to lean on you. Closeness feels like confinement more readily than support.
- →Friendship — You keep conversations light and rarely share what is really on your mind.
- →Work — You prefer working alone and experience consultation as a detour.
- →Relationship — When things get emotional, you withdraw instead of talking it through.
It does not say you need no one — only that dependence feels like risk right away.
Anxious-preoccupied
You actively seek closeness and reassurance, and you notice quickly when it is missing. Doubt about the relationship sits close to the surface.
- →Friendship — You often check whether things are still okay and read silence as distance.
- →Work — You need regular reassurance from a manager to feel settled.
- →Relationship — You are afraid of being abandoned and seek reassurance that only helps briefly.
It does not say you are clingy or dramatic — only that you register insecurity faster than someone with a different style.
Fearful-avoidant
You want closeness, but that same closeness also feels threatening. That makes your behavior in relationships less predictable than the other three styles.
- →Friendship — You swing between moving closer and pulling back, in a way the other person cannot easily follow.
- →Work — You avoid vulnerability with colleagues, but that distance also leaves you feeling lonely.
- →Relationship — Conflict can overwhelm you, after which you alternate between clinging and pushing away.
It does not say you are unpredictable as a person — only that closeness and fear get activated in you at the same time.
What an overview cannot do
This overview helps you recognize yourself, but it measures nothing — that takes a questionnaire, not a list of recognizable situations. An attachment style is also not a fixed trait. Research shows your pattern can differ per relationship: with a partner who is consistently available, you often behave more securely than in a relationship where you constantly have to stay alert. How two styles play off each other within one relationship is covered in attachment styles in relationships.
That same pattern can also shift over time, through therapy, new experiences, or deliberate self-reflection — researchers call this earned secure attachment. What you read here is therefore a starting point for recognizing yourself, not a final verdict on who you are or will remain.
How you measure your style
Recognition is a first step; a measured result is the next one. Innerscape’s attachment style test uses the ECR-R — 36 questions, about 5 minutes, free and with no account — and shows you your scores right away on the two dimensions this overview describes: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance, with a percentile.
Sources
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. Basic Books.
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(3), 511–524.
Bartholomew, K., & Horowitz, L. M. (1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226–244. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.61.2.226
Griffin, D. W., & Bartholomew, K. (1994). Models of the self and other: Fundamental dimensions underlying measures of adult attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67(3), 430–445. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.67.3.430
Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A. (2000). An item response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 350–365.
Written by Remco Volmer, founder of Innerscape.
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Frequently asked questions
Which attachment style do I have?+
You can get a first read from whichever situations below sound most like you, but recognizing yourself is not the same as measuring it. The attachment style test turns your answers into scores on attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance, which pin down your style more precisely than recognition alone.
Is an insecure attachment style a disorder?+
No. An insecure attachment style is a pattern, not a disorder and not a clinical diagnosis. If you are concerned about an actual attachment disorder, an overview on a website is not the right place — that calls for a professional.
Can my attachment style differ per relationship?+
Yes. The same person often behaves more securely with a partner who is consistently available, and less securely with one who responds less predictably. An attachment style is a tendency, not a fixed law.
Can an attachment style change?+
Yes. Attachment styles are learned patterns, not fixed traits. Therapy, new relationship experiences, and deliberate self-reflection can gradually shift a pattern — researchers call this earned secure attachment.
What is the difference between this overview and the attachment style test?+
This overview helps you recognize yourself through patterns and example situations. The attachment style test actually measures you with the ECR-R and gives you a score on the two underlying dimensions.
How many attachment styles are there?+
Four: Secure, Dismissive-avoidant, Anxious-preoccupied, and Fearful-avoidant. They come from two dimensions that Bartholomew and Horowitz distinguished in 1991 — how you see yourself and how you see others — which later questionnaires measure as attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance.
What is the four-category model of Bartholomew and Horowitz?+
The model from their 1991 paper “Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model”. It defines four attachment styles by combining a positive or negative image of yourself with a positive or negative image of others: secure, preoccupied, dismissing, and fearful.