Relationship patterns
Attachment Style Test: how do you bond with others?
Your attachment style shapes how you relate to others in close relationships. Based on Bowlby's attachment theory, the ECR-R measures your patterns around closeness, trust, and dependence.
What is attachment theory?
Attachment theory was developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in the 1950s and 1960s. The central idea: the bond you form with your caregivers as a child creates a blueprint for how you approach relationships later in life. Those early experiences determine whether you experience closeness as safe or threatening, whether you trust others, and how you respond to rejection or loss.
Importantly, attachment patterns are not destiny. They are learned and can shift through new experiences and self-awareness. The first step is understanding which pattern dominates for you — not to label yourself, but to recognize what you do automatically in relationships and why.
The 4 attachment styles
Secure
Comfortable with intimacy and independence. Trusts others and can ask for support when needed.
Dismissive-avoidant
Keeps distance in relationships, prefers to handle things alone, and feels uneasy with dependence.
Anxious-preoccupied
Craves closeness, worries about rejection, and needs frequent reassurance from others.
Fearful-avoidant
Wants closeness but is also afraid of it. Shows mixed signals and unpredictable behavior in relationships.
The ECR-R questionnaire
Innerscape uses the ECR-R (Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised), developed by Fraley, Waller, and Brennan (2000). It is one of the most widely used and best-validated instruments for measuring adult attachment style.
The questionnaire measures two dimensions: attachment anxiety (the extent to which you worry about rejection and abandonment) and attachment avoidance (the extent to which you feel uncomfortable with closeness and dependence). Your scores on these two axes together determine your attachment style.
The ECR-R consists of 36 statements. For each statement you indicate how well it applies to you. There are no right or wrong answers — it is about how you actually feel in close relationships.
Why know your attachment style?
→Romantic relationships— Recognize why you pull away when things get intense, or cling when you feel insecure. Patterns you can see are patterns you can change.
→Friendships— Attachment patterns do not only play out in love. In friendships too, they shape how much you share, how quickly you withdraw, and what you expect.
→Work relationships— Your attitude toward authority, collaboration, and feedback is partly shaped by your attachment style — often without you realizing it.
→The bigger picture— Combined with your personality, values, and coping patterns, your attachment style offers a deeper understanding of who you are and why you do what you do.
Frequently asked questions
Can my attachment style change?+
Yes. Attachment styles are patterns, not fixed traits. Awareness is the first step toward change.
Does the test only cover romantic relationships?+
The ECR-R focuses on romantic relationships, but the patterns often show up in all close relationships.
What if I am not in a relationship?+
That is fine. The questions address how you generally feel about closeness and depending on others.
How reliable is the ECR-R?+
The ECR-R is one of the most widely researched attachment questionnaires in the world, published in peer-reviewed journals.
What do I do with my attachment style score?+
Your score is combined with your other test results in an AI report that reveals patterns in your relationships and emotions.
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